back to school :(

In Uncategorized on November 29, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , , ,

good evening bloggies, sad to say the bliss of break is over…

well i should be doing some sort of homework activity right now. ughh back at school & totally found myself near tears all day :( every fiber of my being does not want to do school right now, i really need a wave of motivation to wash over me.

i will say one positive thing, at least i am in the presence of my puffins! stash :)

anyway, its been awhile since we last chatted, a whole 2ish days (haha) & my goals for those days was to enjoy myself…simple right? yep i think i can confidently say i did just that. recap?

thanksgiving…we’ll return to that

black friday–stayed in, scooted myself to mi amigas casa to hang out with her awesome niece (ahh i love her!), dinner at the country club [which was crazy successful, i really enjoyed it], cards with mi amiga

saturday–avoided homework, went to the mall with my mom [got a new suit, exciting right?? hah], ran errands with my daddy, panera with another amiga, LUNAR FLOW-age (my re-yoga debut since la teeth)

today–soaked in a calm morning at home, packed up and my mom brought me back to bloomington (of course we stopped and kroger to get the necessary groceries!)

ps: got to share just one foodie pic :) last meal at home

don't tell me these oats aren't beautiful ;)

how about we return to thanksgiving, eh?

as i mentioned i skipped out on the first get together, then i got my butt and gear and drove to my grandmas [success! i only got lost once] once i got there i chatted it up with various family members, smiled tried not to get anxious, and looking back i was teetering during all the mingling before dinner, my body needed appetizers (hello i walked 6.2 miles that morning) but Ed didn’t let that happen :( i was also on edge the whole time, i didn’t even sit down until dinner.

dinner, well we eat buffet style (there are so many of us, its just easier) i got anxious while i let all the little ones get their plates, but then i got in line with my dad and made my plate. i filled it up as best i could (carrots, turkey, my mom’s winter fruit salad [favorite dish], green beans, & sweet potato fluff stuff [i was not a fan]) looking back i realize it really wasn’t much, and i didn’t even finish all of it. i’m disappointed, hell i was itching to go by the end of the night so i could get myself a cereal snack. i enjoyed my family and spending time with them, but i hated that my thoughts were elsewhere…

and i only got one comment on my size and what i ate, i tried to change the subject as quickly as i could but it was not easy (it was my grandma’s old friend, and she is quite opinionated), && i was so happy because everyone was very supportive of my decision to transfer, everyone is offering to visit me :) my grandma is even offering up weekly trips to whole foods [oMG!]

all in all this thanksgiving was a learning experience [i.e i need much more post-race refuel that i Ed think], and i hope next year will be better (actually, i have an even sooner chance to try again–christmas eve at my grandma’s)

so that’s the deal, not the prettiest, joyful-est deal but that’s okay, i believe i really learned something.

so now i am back at school, wishing i was at home, avoiding homework. productive right? i’ll get right on that….

hope everyone has a relaxing sunday night (desperate housewives anyone??!!) good luck with classes in the morning, i know i’m not looking forward to them :/

anyone have super exciting plans for the next couple of weeks, you know so i can live vicariously??

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” —August Wilson

i do have the strength and courage to finish these last 18 days, i will keep breathing


17 Responses to “back to school :(”

  1. girl- way to be honest. you really did a great job..dont get too down on got through it! just pick yourself up and keep pushing towards the goal.

    Im back at school too!! i am seriously in christmas break mode already! AHHHH.

    thanks for being REAL.

  2. I think everyone’s feeling the same way about getting back to school/work/reality in general. Hang in there!! Christmas will be here before you know it!! :)

  3. it’s so christmas break for my mind right now. not helping!
    thanks for the compliments on the possible tat! my mom would DIE if i got one! therefore, if i get one it has to be hidden at ALL TIMES! this only leaves one area. my mid back. LOL! =D

    carrots….roasted iwth turkey juice. bomb. try it. and die of deliciousness.


    you on facebook? friends?! =D you have a nice evening too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. im glad to hear your thanksgiving wasn’t too disastrous and i’m also so glad that you had a successful dinner at the country club.. try to cheer up, winter break is soon :) & those oats do look fantastic!


  5. I think you did great…and things didn’t turn out as bad as you thought, right? Save for one comment, but that can be easily brushed off! :-)

    Ah, school tomorrow…that means final exams for me! WAAHH!

  6. it sounds like you handled the situation really well emily, despite it being so hard. like you said – times like these are learning experiences, and are invaluble parts of our recovery!
    glad you had a nice time at home with your family though. its good to have a break from routine sometimes :) but glad your back with your puffin stash now haha :P

    enjoy the start of your week my love!
    hannah xo


  7. I know you feel you were unable to kick ass thanks-giving style like you intended, but definate steps were made in the right direction! I admire how positively you approached this issue, and I am so glad you are using it as a learning experience.

    As for school, I know you can do it. Just hold on a little longer and it will be Christmas before you know it! Sometimes I find it so frusterating to be constantly focused on health, and school seems to add loads of pressure. Try to take things one step at a time (just like thanksgiving!)

    Thanks so much for all you love girl, you ALWAYS make my day brighter.

    ps.. I am so jealous that you get to watch Houswives.. I don’t have cable atm!! Enjoy :P

  8. Hey Emily-

    I relate so much to all of your posts. Seriously, we feel the same way about school. I’m so happy you’re going to make positive change by transferring though. You are so strong and beautiful! <3


  9. those oats ARE beautiful. pb & j can’t be beat :)

    and aw, well i’m sorry to hear that your Thanksgiving went a little rougher than hoped for….but that situation sounds SO similar to my thanksgiving, LAST year. the anxiety, stress, lack of “presence” just isn’t worth it! good luck with school, and try to make the next trip home THAT much more enjoyable! things will only get better, stay positive…and thanks for the sweet comment on my blog! xoxo

  10. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from ED, it’s that recovery is all about little steps and small changes. So although your Thanksgiving wasn’t perfect, try to focus on all the positives and all the things you did right. Like you said, it was a learning experience. And you did great!

  11. There are always going to be little bumps in the road but i know you will skip right over them! Thanksgiving comes every year, so it can get better with every november[: you did amazingly though! your oats look amazing- i think i will do pb & j oats for breakfast tomorrow!

  12. You.Are.A.Rockstar. –don’t forget it.

    thank you for that beautiful comment, dear. I’m so glad your Thanksgiving was joyful and minimally anxious/uncomfortable.

    just 18 days left. You got this.

    love ya
    bec xo

  13. you always have other chances to redeem yourself – tomorrow the next day or whenever, and Christmas is an awesome date to shoot for as well. Just remember and realize that you made it through, don’t live with any regrets!

    I’m just like you – waiting to get out of school again. I want to be out sooner, but I have to wait until the 23rd! I know, it’s HORRIBLE.

    but I love Christmas, so it is worth waiting for :)
    hang in there!

  14. It sounds like you did a great job at thanksgiving and ate some delicious food too! :)

  15. happy tuesday to you too!

    you ARE SO A HAT person. how else would we get along!

    banana pillow. so comfy.

    omg! you said NO TO BANANAS?! heresy!

  16. im so proud of you, girly!
    You sound like you did an awesome job over thanksgiving! <3

    the school is oing to be a drag to get through! haha. but christmas is sooner than we think! HURRAH!

  17. I just came across your blog and think it’s great:) I can’t wait to read more, as I can empathize with your struggle to become a “normal” eater.

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