i accept the next 13 days

In Uncategorized on December 4, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , , ,

happy friday my loves!! i hope you are keeping warm because it is faaa-reezing here!!

muchas gracias por la comments on my last post :) i’m so glad you all understand, deep down i knew you would ;)

so what have i been up to on this frigid friday? well shopping of course :) i walked my butt down to kirkwood to find a christmas gift for my sister, luckily i succeeded at urban outfitters. i got myself some lunch and tea then made my way back to my room. all in all it took 4 hours, probably because i’m a turtle when i shop & eat. whatever i had nothing better to do…well actually i skipped out on a yogini session (yoga club i helped create in the business school) but i just did not want to go, so i didn’t.

and that would be my event for the day, haven’t done much of anything else…attempted at a nap [ended up crying instead? hmm], enjoyed some hot-power fusion yogadownloads, had dinner, currently depressing myself over “say yes to the dress”, after this i’m finishing my accounting essay & sleeping, exciting day!! just kidding, my mom told me i was grandma this morning and she speaks the truth. only 13 more days!

now this is something i am working on, accepting life as it is. for me life right now includes: studying for finals, going to one more week of classes, visiting professors during office hours, watching movies on tv, eating microwaved food, doing dishes in the bathroom, breathing, packing up my things, desperately waiting for my dad to get here on the 17th at 4pm just so he can give me a hug.

nothing miraculous is going to happen, the days aren’t going to disappear, i’m not going to automatically know everything i need to for my exams.

but i can laugh & giggle during small talk with acquaintances, i can draw a picture, i can dance during yoga, i can make indefinite plans for christmas break. i can be hopeful.

my spirit can be bright

hopeful is hard for me, i equate hopeful with hopeless & stupid. i’ve always been afraid of being made into a fool, of being laughed at behind my back, of not seeing the brutal blow ahead of time. i expect myself to see the future and read minds. i can predict someone’s next move and interpret their silence. i’ve stood by this belief for years.

but right now I QUIT.

i know rationally that nothing changes over night, i can’t predict the future, and i can’t read minds. so i’m done trying to. i am accepting things as they are & living through it. i am removing my expectations for the time being. all i can do right now is my best. and my best does not have to be the best.

i may not be living life to the fullest, i am not being wild & crazy. i am going to do what i want to do with what i have.

i do however have one goal—to capture my current life in photographs, i am going to take pictures of where i am for the next 13 days so i don’t forget.

a happy friday to all! and to all a good night!

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. —The Beatles

please know that i am so very grateful that each and every one of you are here.


10 Responses to “i accept the next 13 days”

  1. Hey Em.
    I feel so similarly. I know this next week will go excruciatingly slow, but you know what? It will eventually come. We will get through it. I like your list…this week will be studying, office hours, yoga, packing. Gosh. I can see the smile on your face when your dad picks you up for winter break. Why? Because that was my smile when I was a freshman too. I just wanted OUT. And you’ll get it too! Love you honey. Please don’t give up. I was in your shoes, literally, to a T. You are not alone <3


  2. Accepting your situation and doing little things that make the worst things fun is awesome ;) That is the way to go through life or else it would boring and dull all the time. Those 13 days will go by so fast when you live and keep yourself busy.

    Take care girl – enjoy yourself!


    and stay warm :)

  3. hahha thyme chicken rocks my socks. mom marinates chicken breast pieces in lemon juice, salt, and thyme for as long as you can and then pan fries them in some oil. delish.

    i know. i just was kinda…no one told me? guess no one really thought i would go? i tried not to hate the messenger, D, but i was having a good day until he mentioned it.


    i know! i hope i get it because it’s going to be a hella long line to wait for it!

  4. i’m really impressed with your mentality in this post! i thik it is great that you are accepting the situation. honestly, think about how long you’ve lived and how short 13 days is! you are almost done.
    enjoy your last few days & know that there is a light at the end of hte tunnel :)


  5. even in the craziness of life-you need to be still. take some time to just breath and talk to God, it will help, i promise. sometimes you just gota keep truckin to see the light. i love your positive heart- you ARE determined and will get through this..keep will be rewarded boo!

  6. I loved reading your post.
    it is so true that we must accept who we are, our surroundings, and live life to its fullest, or at least with what we have.
    Stay hopefull, determained. And you WILL strive ahead<3


  7. You can do it! You are almost there. Don’t give up now. Enjoy what you can of these last few days.

  8. … Just one more week! It will be over before you know it! Perfectionism and a need to plan are qualities that usually end up fueling ED, so it makes me happy to hear that you are tring to let it be :)

    Take the time to appreciate and love yourself: think about everything you have accomplished at school this year! You are such an amazing and beautiful girl, and you deserve an amazing holiday!
    love love love you ;D
    ps. Love the new layout :)

  9. you can do it! you’re doing great so far and things can only get better!

  10. Hey Emily!! I just got caught up on you posts!! love the quote about confronting the dark parts of yourself.

    You will get through the next 13 days, just keep the end in sight! This was a really encouraging post to read, just be yourself, people may laugh (they really dont have reason to unless its with you, no at!) let them, thats life. And I think by living life in the moment and focusing on the present you are living life to the fullest, being wild and crazy and doing all sorts of different things while they make life more interesting at times does not equal living it to its fullest!
    I love your goal and cant wait to see the pix!!!! Have a wonderful weekend!! I love the snow falling in your blog!! =D <3 <3

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