In Uncategorized on December 16, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , , ,

‘Cause they say the best way out is through–“Ungodly Hour”–The Fray

good afternoon my dears! i cannot get over how wonderful you all are, i am so glad that you guys know just what to say to whip me back into shape :) i am so grateful for all of you.

i am in the process of packing up my room and preparing for my last final. and since i had absolutely no real obligations today i treated myself to 45 of hot power fusion love.

i’ve been thinking a lot about my denial, and i’ve come to a few realizations. the first being that it has been a while since i put myself in a challenging situation, so i have not had to make any anxiety provoking decisions. essentially i have kept myself in my easy bubble, which is a good way to trick myself that i am fine. but in thinking about it i am about to experience a lot of changes. i am going home where things are different and the food is different, i am going to have a hectic schedule and then i am moving in with three new girls january 1st. to me these are all big changes that are not easy to handle.

i also realized that it takes me like an hour to eat a meal. this isn’t an option when i am busy, and its not a realistic way to eat.

so once i get home my mom and i are going to figure out what’s next. but even sooner i have a nutritionist appointment tomorrow morning. and i have figured out what my new outlook is going to be: i am eating to get my period back. it is a problem that i haven’t had a period since march.

also i found out today that my free t4 levels are low, they told me this is common with eating disorders and by googling all i managed to find was that it has to do with hypothyroidism, anyone have any experience with free t4 levels?

ah here is my new love:

this smells so good, it is a wonderful hand lotion to put on before bed ($0.97 at target, i say you go buy some)

other than all that jazz i sold back my books today, and worked on using up all my meal points, but i still have 30 left to spend! so it looks like more clifs, lunas, gum, iced tea :) and a latte too. funny how i was convinced i was going to run out of meal points just a few weeks ago.

well it seems i should get back to packing, so much fun. but i am not complaining because I’M LEAVING TOMORROW :) anyone else way too excited for this week to end?

happy wednesday my dears!! &&

the oh so amazing shelley tagged me with this beautiful award :) thanks again girl!

7 random facts about moi:

  1. i used to be a gymnast & a cheerleader, but i am more flexible now than i ever was then (thank you yoga)
  2. my senior year i was general manager of my high school school store, the comet zone
  3. my dad calls me emily krackalin because when i was a baby i couldn’t pronounce katherine
  4. one of my favorite things to do is drive with the windows down, radio up, and just sing (especially party in the usa ha)
  5. i have no sense of direction what so ever
  6. i fall down quite often, usually while trying to walk up stairs
  7. my favorite movie when i was little was the jungle book :)

i would like to share this with–tatianna, theemptynutjar, rebecca, sophia, emily, sam, katie


19 Responses to “through”

  1. I am so glad to read you are working to get your period back. It will take hard work but YOU CAN DO IT.

    Jungle Book was your favorite movie! So awesome! Mine was Disenys Robin Hood!

  2. thanks for telling us a little bit about yourself dear :) the jungle book is incredible, it makes me smile :) haha i fall down often as well! and omg em, i totally had the same problem with my thyroid when i go tmy blood work checked! getitng results like that are just anothe rreminder of why i need to beat this disease. and by the way, UC is liek 2hours from my house :) tell me how you like sister is thinking about going there! and i know you have alot of changes coming upb, ut i know you cna face them head on. the thing is, if we want to be happy, we HAVE to be adaptive. I truly believe you will get through all this :) you’re right, an hour per meal is unrealistic.. and anyways, htere are so many things you could be doing with your time! push yourself to be social and have fun at school- it is an amazing experience that we should all enjoy!

    love ya


  3. Good luck packing! And enjoy your time off:) Hope the meeting with the nutritionist goes well!!

  4. Ooh, I’m SO excited to get tagged in something :) haha (probably TOO excited)

    We totally have 5 and 7 in common :)

    I’m so happy you’re done– you deserve this break to re energize, rejuvenate and refocus on your health and happiness. And I’m loving your reason to stay motivated– sometimes you need some kind of excuse to beat ED when all else feels lost.

    love you to pieces. fb chat soon?!
    bec xo

  5. I’m eating for the same purpose as you! It’s been two years since I’ve surfed the crimson wave…, WE CAN DO THIS! It’s scary, but necessary.

    Good luck on your finals Emily :)

    Much love.

  6. BY THE WAY- Thanks SO SO SO much for passing that onto me. You are amazing <3

  7. Ok, this might be weird, but if you’re interested in being a mother one day, perhaps use that as motivation to get better. You will have a much easier time conceiving if your hormone and thyroid levels are in check. Regardless of that issue, health definitely should be your number 1 priority. Eating is very healthy and by doing that you will be treating yourself right!! :)

  8. i love that song! ugh, but this post reminded me that i have to start packing for home soon too. enjoy the rest of your week and your entire break!!

  9. I used to be a gymnast and cheerleader too! okay-the period thing was something that REALLY got my motivation going, who knew i would be so excited when i finally got it back? haha, cause one day I want to be a mom and have kids!

  10. Yup yup… I too am striving towards once again greeting aunt flo. Is this too much girl talk for public access internet? :/ heh..

    I totally freak when change enters my life, so I know how you must be feeling about moving home, and then off again shortly after. BUT.. You are so much stronger than you think, and all of this stress will fade before you know it :) Try to enjoy the excitement of spending time with your family… and maybe you can challenge yourself socially by meeting new people when you move in with your new roomies? You will survive my dear!

    Btw.. I totally understand about the whole “taking an hour to eat” thing. It takes me ages no matter what I’m eating and it’s definintly not normal. Lemme know if you figure this one out ;)?

    Oooh thanks for the blogger tag =)!

  11. Emily: thank you so so so so much for including me in your list…it really touched me..more than u might realize :)

    I know you have a lot of challenges and new things ahead…but try to think only about today….if you alway only “deal with the present moment, and live in the present moment, you can be a happy person…

    like i said in my review yesterday, the main character said…”eat when it is time to eat…move along when it is time to move along”….just do what you got to do in that moment and then worry not of past or future

  12. I love that lavender lotion! I use it every night. Such a calming way to end the day/begin sleep. And I love that quote, the best way out IS always through.

    Love you girl, thanks for always brightening my day with positive and inspiring comments.


  13. i’m glad to hear that you’re aiming to get your period back, and i hope that you develop more physical and mental goals along the way! you can do it!

  14. emily! hey my cutie, i loved learning more about you :) i have no sense of direction either! no shame…
    im glad you are feeling so motivated to get healthy! but please remember that even when you get your period back, it doesnt automatically mean your better – i get mine at bmi’s in the 14s and 15s, but it doesn’t mean im healthy yet.
    and i think its great your going to try and work on the time it takes for meals. this is something i struggle with too.

    lots of love!
    hannah <3

  15. lol!!! Krackalin?! That’s awesome. Can I call you that? ;-)
    And YAY!!!! I’m beautiful? I’m beautiful! Woo hoo! Haha, thank you so much for the award, babe!

    Stay strong, my dear…challenges are ahead, but that does not mean they can’t be enjoyable…that’s right. Try to ENJOY yourself, whatever you’re doing!

  16. I loved reading the 7 random facts about you. I have no sense of direction either… Seriously I should just carry a GPS around with me in my purse or something.
    I chuckled a bit when I first saw the words “melt away stress” on your lotion. Screw therapy, I’m just gonna buy a bucket of that and douse myself in it!
    By the way, I’m Rachael.. Nice to meet you ;)


    • Just learned that my previous comment was from a wordpress account that I quickly learned I’m def. not tech-savvy enough to handle. So sorry about that! Here’s the link to my real blog:

  17. I’ll keep thinkin of ya! Get that period back girl! :)

    Thanks for being so honest in here: )

  18. You can handle these changes and difficult sitation. It’s a great way to learn and challenge yourself!

    Enjoy break, girl :)

    ps – thank you for the award!


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