In Uncategorized on January 20, 2010 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , ,

i’m back loves. i love blogging. and i love all of you. thank you so much for being here for me. your kind warm words mean the world to me. && please know i have been reading, i’ve refrained from commenting but i couldn’t stop myself from reading, i like you all too much.

so what have i been doing for the past week? well, i’m not really sure. i’ve been doing school, i went home for the long weekend, and now i’m back to doing school. not all that much out of the ordinary. oh wait…i went to counseling yesterday afternoon.

yes counseling–i think i was honest. i told her about how i just feel uncomfortable, panicked, & still obsessed. i don’t know what’s going to happen next, they are going to call me within the week. she was nice, and will likely be the person i talk to. she also said they started a new protocol that has patients with eating issues work with a nutritionist and physician along with the therapist.

i’ve also gone to 2 yoga classes at the rec center. i’m really happy with them, over winter break i was looking for an actual studio to go to because i didn’t think the rec center classes would be that good. i was wrong, sure i’ve never tried a real studio so maybe i’m missing something, but these classes have been good. one day i hope to belong to a studio, but its just not in the cards at the moment.
yesterday we did splits :) i’m so surprised i could do them! & in savasana the instructor even gave us a little massage, pure bliss. i’m really hoping to make some friends in the classes.

as for the blog, i’ve been thinking about what kind of direction i want it to go in. if i want it to have a direction at all. honestly, i haven’t figured anything out. so i’m going to stick with going with the flow of it for now. but there may be some changes in the future ;) something FRESH.

back to me going home lots. i’m not sure what to think of it. i like being home, i like being around my family, i like the safety. but i also know that i’m using it as a crutch, so i don’t have to go out or hang out with new people. sure my social life is more active now than it was at indiana, i actually have chances to do things; now i’m just choosing not to. well, not for everything, but somethings—a basketball game over the weekend, a party on sunday, a basketball game tonight. i know this is how things start.
i have a goal to stay down here this whole weekend. unfortunately, thinking about it makes me anxious.

as for tonight i think i’m just going to take it easy…some yoga, whatever the wednesday shows are + homework. i also have to call my health insurance tomorrow, ew. & i lost my ID today, so i have to buy another one tomorrow. typical.

kurt: every word is true.


17 Responses to “refreshing”

  1. holy shit, Kurt Vonnegut is amazing. that quote is awesome. thank you for sharing it with us.

    I can totally relate to using home as a crutch so I don’t have to go out with people. I live at home still, I’m a junior in college, and I know I’ve chosen to live here because of my social anxiety.

    I’m really proud of you for challenging yourself to stay at school this weekend. The best way out of this anxious time is always getting through it; facing your fears and all.

    Have a great night, lovie. glad you’re back :)

  2. Glad to see you back :)

    Yoga is wonderful – I’m so happy it’s such a light in your life!

    I, too, use home as a crutch. It’s where I feel the safest. You can break out of your shell, though. I know it!

    great quote

  3. ahh i missed you hun!! glad you are doing pretty well- try your hardest to stay this weekend and enjoy yourself. you will honestly be so happy if you feel like you ahve a social group at school that you can hang out w/ every weekend :) and i know plenty of people would LOVE for you to stay!! you can do thiss look forward toyour next post <3

  4. EMILY! i have missed you love. try to enjoy yourself this weekend girl, it takes time to find a social group! promise! i didnt even find my group of friends until 2nd semester of college..and didnt even become GOOD friends w. anybody til the next year! HANG IN THERE. be yourself, beautiful, God will send you good friends :)

  5. Oh , I missed you. you sound like you are doing well….as well as any of us can expect of ourselves :)
    Try to take the weekend one step at a time…dont think ahead…just deal with that moment…i know about blogging…i have no idea what direction to take it in either…very confusing…thinking of u :)

  6. Good to see a post from you!! Thanks for sharing that awesome quote!! :)

  7. Emily! Welcome back, hun! I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well :)

    Being social is something I struggle with too, but I think the only way to get past it is to kind of force yourself into it at the beginning… Eventually, over time, you’ll begin to truly feel it, so it’s probably a good thing you have to stay at school this weekend. Hope you have a great remainder of the week, love!

  8. i LOVE when instructors give you a little massage in savasana, so great! i’m glad you were honest in your counseling sesh, i hope things go well with that!

    do whats best for YOU sweetie!
    and i love that quote <3 words so true.

  10. I missed you, so glad you’re back :)

  11. thankyou for sharing that quote!
    I’m so jealous you can do the splits. how long did it take until you were able to do them? that’s great you’re so passionate about yoga. i’m getting there!

  12. Emily!
    I am so glad to see your back :) … and it sounds like you are making progress!

    Amazing and inspiring quote =D


    Listen, you are such a fabulous, beautiful person anyone would be crazy not to want to hang out with you. Give them the pleasure of your company :)

    and i hope youve remembered that I'm always always here for you, girl. youve been such a wonderful support system

  14. Hello! Glad you loved the yoga! I hope it will offer friendship and stress release for you =]
    You can make it through the weekend just keep telling yourself you can and believing it!! Enjoy yourself thiss weekend, go out and have fun you deserve it.
    Souds like you will have a lot of professional help at school witch is vital. So glad things are moving forward. Have a wonderful weekend, and keep on keepin on ;)
    <3 <3 <3

  15. Yay look who is back with a bang, incredible quotes and all! That quote is amazing and definitely going into my collection, but from Vonnegut would you expect anything less? ;)
    I hope your weekend sans home goes all right, that you’re able not only to survive it but enjoy yourself as well.


  16. Glad you’re back…I am too :) I hope you’re having a beautiful Thursday evening. Glad yoga + massage (freakin right!!) is amazing – keep doing it if you get smiles out of it.

    Always here for ya – and on Fbook too ;)

    Love ya!!

  17. I love you, EM! So happy you found some good yoga classes @ the rec center. But I bet you would loveeee finding a studio! You will, eventually.

    Good for you for talking/confiding in someone. I’m proud of you + you know that I’m always here for you.

    Also, I relate 100% to going home a lot. I actually picked up my stuff and came home this afternoon…because of anxiety // being at school for the weekend. ugh. I dunno. I’ve been doing this for years….four years, actually. Running home then running back to school. I have issues with leaving/staying places, clearly ;)

    <3 <3 <3

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: