i’m making a new blog.
come visit :)
hi. did i pop up on your google reader? hope so :) don’t hate me :/
so i haven’t posted since february. did i plan it? no. have i been reading? yes. am i back? i don’t know, i just had the urge to post.
i think part of why i haven’t posted is that i’ve had no idea what i want to say, where i want to go, what i want to do. my overriding feeling has been ambivalence; which really isn’t a productive place to be, especially when it comes to recovery. i’ll admit it, i’ve lost weight and gaining is a huge fear right now. my emotions are anything but stable.
my life has gotten busy, which makes a gaining meal plan difficult to maintain. the fact that i don’t feel like putting in the effort to follow a meal plan doesn’t help either. my therapist told me if i lose any more she is going to refer me to more intensive treatment, truth is i think she’s full of shit with that. she wants me to go back to a dietician i saw a couple of times and i’m not making an appointment because there isn’t anything she can tell me that i don’t already know, and that i can’t do myself. i have the tools, it’s the motivation i lack.
on a yoga front–i feel deprived. i have less time now and therefore less yoga time. to remedy this i got a 3 class pass to a studio in hyde park. can.not.wait.to.go.
on a walking front–i’ve become a wanderer. i bought a new iPod and it makes for wonderful zone out time.
on a birthday front–i turned 20 last week. i ate a whole piece of carrot cake. not easy. but delicious.
on a school front–it still bothers me that my classes aren’t the most challenging thing in the world, but GPA certainly loves it.
on a social front–ehh. still uncomfortable. pushing myself to step out & participate. trying not to be overly critical.
computer desktop of the moment:
i missed you all. but i am up to date, cause i’ve definitely been reading. love, love, love.