Posts Tagged ‘studying’


what’s necessary?

In Uncategorized on February 10, 2010 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , ,

good evening loves :)

so after i last posted i realized that it kind of seemed like i didn’t do anything while i was at home–then i remembered that was not the case:
this past weekend i–>

  • baked cookies with my baby sister
  • had lunch with my mom & her friend at panera
  • i painted my toenails “off with her red”
  • took 2 days off from yoga & didn’t die
  • kind of put my room back together

not necessarily in that order. && i know this is totally after the fact and not really necessary but whatever.

recently i have adopted a new attitude, it may not be the most attractive of attitudes, but it is what it is. the attitude is = “i don’t care” it gives me free reign to do as a please. i can be weird. i can be cranky. i can be romantic (okay, that hasn’t happened yet). i can be irrational (uh oh). i can be what ever i want. someone please tell me why it has taken me 19 years to realize this?

on the subject of necessity, i think its obvious i am not a fan–

nope, 4 drinks (3 different teas) are not necessary when studying. i don't care.

now, when i say studying i mean sort of catching myself up for the class that i skipped friday and that was cancelled today. oh and i found out that the university closed at noon today after i walked around (literally around it–somehow thinking those sidewalks would be less slippery; i was very wrong, hello there were less people walking on them) the campus and passed a generous guy who filled me in. all i could do was laugh, especially because part of me expected it. so naturally i went to the bookstore, bought a sweatshirt, walked to clifton natural foods (praying it was open & that they had hummus) and bought a can of black beans.
& i overslept this morning and skipped my first class. successful day? sureee.

since the campus was closed, yoga class was obviously cancelled as well (um i even stopped in the rec center to be sure–anal much?), so i decided to reacquaint myself with yogadownloads; power vinyasa flow # 1 – 60 minutes specifically. quite tough, especially after the pansy class i went to yesterday (don’t even get me started, it was supposed to be yoga strength).

i also figured i should try something new for dinner, cause you should cook when you’re snowed in, so i made italian eggs over spinach (shout out to miss amanda!) i added some brussels & mushrooms, because i’m honing in on my rebel skills, which means i no longer follow recipes obviously.

on the rebellious note–what’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done?

i think tonight is all about reading & falling asleep. lately the best part of my day has been laying in my bed just feeling it, its the simple things :)

oh but the simple things like people chewing with their mouth open and biting their nails makes me want to die.

happy tuesday!

questions/comments/concerns/anything you want to see from me? (i promise to stop bothering you with this sooner or later)

& pb&co giveaway! no joke :)


screwing my head on straight

In Uncategorized on January 26, 2010 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , ,

you bloggies = the best. i say we just leave it at that.

sorry for being so dramatic loves, just had to get it out. i’m feeling better, i did have a nice yoga session & shower on sunday, along with a trip to whole foods with my grandma. & the structure of classes has been treating me pretty nicely.

today i had two tests, which i’m pretty sure went well, so i am currently doing a whole lot of nothing. i probably should be studying for my other test tomorrow,but i think that’s going to have to wait until after yoga & dinner. priorities. in my fit of nothing-ness i decided to stroll down to clifton natural foods. it sounded sketch to my mom. i disagree :)
i’m really glad i checked it out cause it has lots of bulk bins with grains & such so i don’t have to get such giant things all the time and i can cook at my leisure. & i got 2 pink lady apples. i’m excited :) oh & i got something new tooo–>

for the low low price of $2.99; i rationalized that i needed it cause they are more expensive at whole foods. ha

i haven’t tried it yet, but i called my mom to tell her about it (okay just realized how weird that is & i must apologize for my nail polish in recent pictures, my mom asked if i’d ever heard of nail polish remover) and she asked if i just seek out the strangest things there are…and i think she may be right, but that’s the fun right?? actually at the moment i’m currently snacking on kefir, pistachios, & raisins. pretty delicious if you ask me.

oh and today i met with my new therapist. first things first, she said “gotcha” a lot, which really irked me (so does the word irk). other than that she seemed nice, quiet. it was a lot of introductions and stuff cause she’s not the same woman i had my initial interview with. she gave me a card for a nutritionist i’m supposed to call as well. && thinking about it, i am going to try to stop calorie counting on my own right now. i have an exchange meal plan, so i think i’m going to go back to working with this & see how i feel.

all and all the past 2 days have been about getting my bearings together after this weekend & not going to lie, i already have plans to go home friday. i really cannot thank you guys enough for the endless support.

“I have discovered in life that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go.” — Langston Hughes

what do you guys think? can you really get what you want by truly wanting it? do people get stuck because they don’t actually want to move on? is it enough to just want something?



In Uncategorized on December 16, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , , ,

‘Cause they say the best way out is through–“Ungodly Hour”–The Fray

good afternoon my dears! i cannot get over how wonderful you all are, i am so glad that you guys know just what to say to whip me back into shape :) i am so grateful for all of you.

i am in the process of packing up my room and preparing for my last final. and since i had absolutely no real obligations today i treated myself to 45 of hot power fusion love.

i’ve been thinking a lot about my denial, and i’ve come to a few realizations. the first being that it has been a while since i put myself in a challenging situation, so i have not had to make any anxiety provoking decisions. essentially i have kept myself in my easy bubble, which is a good way to trick myself that i am fine. but in thinking about it i am about to experience a lot of changes. i am going home where things are different and the food is different, i am going to have a hectic schedule and then i am moving in with three new girls january 1st. to me these are all big changes that are not easy to handle.

i also realized that it takes me like an hour to eat a meal. this isn’t an option when i am busy, and its not a realistic way to eat.

so once i get home my mom and i are going to figure out what’s next. but even sooner i have a nutritionist appointment tomorrow morning. and i have figured out what my new outlook is going to be: i am eating to get my period back. it is a problem that i haven’t had a period since march.

also i found out today that my free t4 levels are low, they told me this is common with eating disorders and by googling all i managed to find was that it has to do with hypothyroidism, anyone have any experience with free t4 levels?

ah here is my new love:

this smells so good, it is a wonderful hand lotion to put on before bed ($0.97 at target, i say you go buy some)

other than all that jazz i sold back my books today, and worked on using up all my meal points, but i still have 30 left to spend! so it looks like more clifs, lunas, gum, iced tea :) and a latte too. funny how i was convinced i was going to run out of meal points just a few weeks ago.

well it seems i should get back to packing, so much fun. but i am not complaining because I’M LEAVING TOMORROW :) anyone else way too excited for this week to end?

happy wednesday my dears!! &&

the oh so amazing shelley tagged me with this beautiful award :) thanks again girl!

7 random facts about moi:

  1. i used to be a gymnast & a cheerleader, but i am more flexible now than i ever was then (thank you yoga)
  2. my senior year i was general manager of my high school school store, the comet zone
  3. my dad calls me emily krackalin because when i was a baby i couldn’t pronounce katherine
  4. one of my favorite things to do is drive with the windows down, radio up, and just sing (especially party in the usa ha)
  5. i have no sense of direction what so ever
  6. i fall down quite often, usually while trying to walk up stairs
  7. my favorite movie when i was little was the jungle book :)

i would like to share this with–tatianna, theemptynutjar, rebecca, sophia, emily, sam, katie


clearly i am very good at embarrassing myself

In Uncategorized on December 12, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , ,

hola bonitas. another major apology for my post last night, i was tired and discouraged.

now i have something ridiculous for your viewing pleasure. this would be me taking a “study break” [we will ignore the fact that i have taken more study breaks than actually studying today]

hope everyone enjoyed a little giggle while watching that hott mess :)

loads of love!



In Uncategorized on December 12, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , ,

happy friday night my dears. thank you all so very much for the wonderful encouragement, it means so much. love all of you :)

at the moment i am very against studying for my finals, they are overwhelming me, which honestly is why i am blogging right now, so not to study.

finals start sunday–

finals schedule. ew.

right now i want to run, literally just run.

you know school has always been my thing, i.e. i can do school. no i don’t do it perfectly), but i was always able to do it. i was motivated to do my homework, now that’s gone. i don’t have much motivation to do anything. and my lack of motivation scares me. alas i’m probably just being dramatic because it’s friday night and i would rather be doing anything but studying.

but now i’m blank, i no longer have anything to say, to muse upon. i’m tired but i’m afraid if i go to sleep now i will just wake up early and have more saturday to deal with.

the plan: brush my teeth and return to accounting

sorry for the drama, today did begin nicely. i thought it would be a wonderful idea to study at barnes and nobel, so after breakfast i hopped on the bus to the mall. got myself a misto and studied stats. then i walked my booty over to bloomingfoods to get a sandwich for lunch (ha i wish i took a picture, i got all the veggies on it and it was so tall that a someone walked by and goes — “that’s quite a sandwich” ha). made some more purchases. took my butt to target to attempt to get reasonably priced groceries, then came back to my dorm. now i’ve just been studying and not studying.

i ate at bloomingfoods, and after i sat down there weren’t any extra tables, so woman sat with me. she was very sweet, sometimes when i’m at school i forget how nice it is to share meals with people. i’m surprised that it’s even nice with people you don’t know.

nutcracker sweet black tea, why has no one else on the blogs pointed this baby out. it. is. perfect. omg.

i’ll let you know about the gingerbread cliff, yet to try it, actually not quite sure if i’ve ever had gingerbread in my life. i grew up as a very picky child.

as for how i am feeling about yesterday. well i’m not really thinking about it, but in the shower this morning i did wonder what i had just done. i feel a little flip about it (no i do not know what i mean by flip).

hope everyone is having a wonderful night. my sincerest apologies for this blah-tastic post.


a day

In Uncategorized on December 10, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , , ,

happy thirsty thursday boos! if only i was partaking in thirsty thursday adventures instead of studying managerial accounting all night long. if only, if only.

feels like its been ages since i last blog, and that means i have things to tell. wish i could call them exciting announcements, but not so much.

  1. you are the most wonderfully encouraging people i have ever met, each one of your comments was right on the money and appreciate each and every one of you.
  2. did i conquer the pizza? no. have i felt like i let down each and every one of you and my mother? yes.
  3. today i went to caps (counseling and psychological services) and i have a physicians appointment monday morning.

so this caps thing, it felt pretty spontaneous to me actually. i had an appointment with my accounting TA after lunch and my next class wasn’t until 4 so i had time to go to the emergency walk in (even though i really wasn’t experiencing an emergency, i just didn’t know how to make an actual appointment). so i went, filled out bunches of forms and met with a very nice woman who confirmed my beliefs that i have an eating disorder [this is the first time a professional has told me, emily, you fit the criteria of an eating disorder]. she asked me to sign a form saying she could talk to the physicians & dietitians and i have an 8am appointment for an physician with eating disorder experience to see me. the thing about this is that i probably should have done this much earlier in the semester, because now i have a week with these people. but she did seem confident in helping me figure out what to do when i go home and move to UC.

if it were not for you beautiful women i would not have been able to do this. my sincerest thank you goes out to each of you. you women are amazing.

so that is pretty much the extent of my day.


  • dinner
  • studying
  • glee
  • yoga
  • studying
  • greys

hmm not sure if i can fit the studying in ;)

want to see something embarrassing??

seriously embarrassed to post this. it will appall my mother. but whatever wanted to show all the studying i need to do (minus the disgusting floor), just keeping it real.

PS–finished my last class of IU today! finals are all i have left to conquer.

love love love

“Mistakes are painful, but they’re the only way to find out who you really are.” –Denny (Grey’s Anatomy)


life as it is

In Uncategorized on December 8, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , ,

happy evening beauties! how’s this week treating you? unbearably slow? yeah, me too.

so, have i been studying? have i been stressing? nah not really.

i’ve been watching too much tv, as i am currently multitasking (watching the biggest loser finale–what can i say i can’t really manage to do just one thing at a time), i’ve been cursing the weather gods (tried to cheer myself up about the rain today by donning a baseball cap, did not work, and i still got wet), all in all avoiding studying. no motivation. none what so ever.

oh yeah it snowed yesterday. i didn't really like it.

& i have a cold. i have done everything i can possibly think of to make it go away–dayquil, nyquil, chicken noodle soup, ginger ale (zevia style ;) i rocked), tea, more tea, halls. & i still have a cold. i should probably point out that i’ve had this cold for all of 2 days. i am a drama queen/big baby.

bedtime snack with a side of nyquil. & i still woke up at 7am, had to chill in bed for a whole hour.

what has been nice is that in my defiant act of acceptance of this week and the next i haven’t been so angry, i’ve just set myself in waiting really, and i think it’s okay for the time being.

in other news the group project that stressed me to the point that i think i got my first grey hair (i am 19, not okay) earned our group an A. i feel as though i should be elated to some extent. but really in actuality i don’t really care. i don’t feel all that much about it. i don’t think i am very good at this feeling called happy.

as for my goal [doing something that scares me everyday] i’ve thought about.

today i studied with a girl from my stats class, but that wasn’t all that scary. what was more scary was planning it yesterday, making a point that i wanted to study today and asking her to text me today. it frustrates me that this scared me. and you know what i honestly believed she wouldn’t text me today. i was really surprised when she did text me.

now here is another thing, tomorrow. tomorrow (night–aka 9:15pm) i have an opportunity to have pizza (read fear food) at a WFA study session. my mom dared me to have a slice. i told here i would think about it. i’m trying not to think too much about it. tips ladies?

well i think that enough of my petty drama for one night. so many giggles from y’alls comments on my silly grocery post, serious smiles, i love that all y’all visit my blogg!

i’ll leave with something do you feel about therapy? i know some of you have talked about it, and i myself went this summer for a short time, i recently looked over some of the things she had given me and realized how in the wrong frame i was when i talked with her, how against it i was, even though i made all the appointments, no one forced me. but lately i’ve been wondering if i need to find myself someone else, so i can truly recover. so what do you think? would you recommend it? (i know this is a lot to ask)

love love.

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” —Shakespeare


3 hour grocery trip

In Uncategorized on December 7, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , ,

hi loves!

like many of you out there i spent my weekend studying…but i still have one more week until finals actually start, this coming week is supposed to be “dead week” which means nothing to me.

so aside from the studying and basic hanging around entertaining myself, i went to the grocery store today. now i know i have mentioned before that it takes me about 3 hours to go to the grocery, but today i thought i would show you! (i know you are very excited, i can just sense it)

10:20am–left my room to head to the bus stop down the hill

the frozen tundra

10:35am–chilled all the library (its heated)

has become one of my least favorite places. thank you group projects.

10:55am–bus came, rode it to the car dealership

i think it would be nice if i owned one of these cars so i could drive to the grocery store.

11:11am–made it to kroger

these trees made me sad :(

then i wandered about the giant kroger, with my list (very important in ensuring that i don’t spend forever looking at everything). i found some very adorable apples.

mini apple!! i may have squealed just a little bit when i saw it.

so after dilly dallying around i finally filled my cart and paid like a million dollars! (but hey i saved $14.80 with my kroger plus card & coupons) i think it was like 12:20ish

the cart.

suited back up in my marshmallow coat, ran to the bus sitting at the bus stop, sat on the bus while it waited for 10 minutes, then we left for campus.

chilling on the immobile bus with my scuzzy uggs.

now i was on a B bus which goes up north jordan then back down jordan (i know this means nothing to you). point of that was that i got antsy in my leggings and got off the bus at the very end of north jordan while we sat and waited to move again. for some reason i thought it was pretty close to my dorm. wrong. i walked down north jordan & across 17th to finally made it back to my room. well that took like 45 minutes, & the bus i was on definitely passed me as i walked down north jordan.

needless to say i was tiredd & hungry when i finally got back to my room.

oh i didn't tell you i carry my groceries in my backpack...what a nerd.


so there you have it 10:35 to 1:35 emily’s grocery adventure.

super exciting right? well maybe not, but necessary. now i must say these weekly grocery trips have taught me a few things, ready?

  1. i can survive about anything
  2. things don’t have to be ideal to work
  3. i’m stubborn (how bout we attribute that to the fact that i am a tried and true taurus)
  4. food is expensive but that is not a reason not to eat it

oh i’ve been scarf-fing it up the past two days (these may or may not be the only scarves i have at school)

study scarf. if only it would make studying easier.

bundling up scarf (always surprises me that it actually keeps me warm, hah)

time for me to pass out, i think i am getting a cold (ahhh!) so i had some sleepytime tea and nyquill. can hardly keep my eyes open, pulled through desperate housewives and brothers & sisters though, been looking forward to those all day :) the drama did not disappoint!

now my bloggies, what are your favorite ridiculous television shows? i only ask because i realized i really like “sex rehab with dr. drew” on vh1, yesterday i even did some yoga/sex rehab. no shame.

wishing everyone the best of luck this week! may the peace be with you :)

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” –Elanor Roosevelt

ps–i have a new goal.


back to school :(

In Uncategorized on November 29, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , , ,

good evening bloggies, sad to say the bliss of break is over…

well i should be doing some sort of homework activity right now. ughh back at school & totally found myself near tears all day :( every fiber of my being does not want to do school right now, i really need a wave of motivation to wash over me.

i will say one positive thing, at least i am in the presence of my puffins! stash :)

anyway, its been awhile since we last chatted, a whole 2ish days (haha) & my goals for those days was to enjoy myself…simple right? yep i think i can confidently say i did just that. recap?

thanksgiving…we’ll return to that

black friday–stayed in, scooted myself to mi amigas casa to hang out with her awesome niece (ahh i love her!), dinner at the country club [which was crazy successful, i really enjoyed it], cards with mi amiga

saturday–avoided homework, went to the mall with my mom [got a new suit, exciting right?? hah], ran errands with my daddy, panera with another amiga, LUNAR FLOW-age (my re-yoga debut since la teeth)

today–soaked in a calm morning at home, packed up and my mom brought me back to bloomington (of course we stopped and kroger to get the necessary groceries!)

ps: got to share just one foodie pic :) last meal at home

don't tell me these oats aren't beautiful ;)

how about we return to thanksgiving, eh?

as i mentioned i skipped out on the first get together, then i got my butt and gear and drove to my grandmas [success! i only got lost once] once i got there i chatted it up with various family members, smiled tried not to get anxious, and looking back i was teetering during all the mingling before dinner, my body needed appetizers (hello i walked 6.2 miles that morning) but Ed didn’t let that happen :( i was also on edge the whole time, i didn’t even sit down until dinner.

dinner, well we eat buffet style (there are so many of us, its just easier) i got anxious while i let all the little ones get their plates, but then i got in line with my dad and made my plate. i filled it up as best i could (carrots, turkey, my mom’s winter fruit salad [favorite dish], green beans, & sweet potato fluff stuff [i was not a fan]) looking back i realize it really wasn’t much, and i didn’t even finish all of it. i’m disappointed, hell i was itching to go by the end of the night so i could get myself a cereal snack. i enjoyed my family and spending time with them, but i hated that my thoughts were elsewhere…

and i only got one comment on my size and what i ate, i tried to change the subject as quickly as i could but it was not easy (it was my grandma’s old friend, and she is quite opinionated), && i was so happy because everyone was very supportive of my decision to transfer, everyone is offering to visit me :) my grandma is even offering up weekly trips to whole foods [oMG!]

all in all this thanksgiving was a learning experience [i.e i need much more post-race refuel that i Ed think], and i hope next year will be better (actually, i have an even sooner chance to try again–christmas eve at my grandma’s)

so that’s the deal, not the prettiest, joyful-est deal but that’s okay, i believe i really learned something.

so now i am back at school, wishing i was at home, avoiding homework. productive right? i’ll get right on that….

hope everyone has a relaxing sunday night (desperate housewives anyone??!!) good luck with classes in the morning, i know i’m not looking forward to them :/

anyone have super exciting plans for the next couple of weeks, you know so i can live vicariously??

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” —August Wilson

i do have the strength and courage to finish these last 18 days, i will keep breathing


nice to see you

In Uncategorized on October 26, 2009 by Emily ( Tagged: , , , , , ,

good afternoon fellow bloggies :) how is everyone’s monday so far? yay? nay? okay? haha okay thats enough.

thank you everyone for your support with my whole friends situation, i have a really hard time putting myself out there, but you know what like my mom was telling me yesterday i have nothing to lose. really, in the whole scheme of things i am only going to be here for like 7 more weeks, that’s it. asking people to hang out with me is not going to kill me, if it makes them think i’m lame, who cares! and you never know i might actually enjoy myself and get to know more people. they could also look at me like a charity case and feel sorry for me not having anything to do and secretly laugh at me while i’m not around. i am choosing to look at it from the positive perspective.

as for my weekend after friday, eh it was uneventful. saturday night the girls in the room next to me had a bunch of smirnoff ices and gave me one (which was so nice of them to share, freshman often do not like to share their alcohol) i was studying so i took it back to my room and then stupid Ed got the best of me. i didn’t drink it because it wasnt light…and i went to my room so that i didn’t have to drink it. i would have had a hell of a lot more fun had i just hung out with them in their room and chilled. but i apparently decided that it was much more important for me to study on a saturday night. UGH! why do i do this?

sunday i made it out to the grocery store, and boy did it feel good. i had quite the hay day just getting whatever i wanted :) 

can you obsessed?

can you obsessed?

buy one get one free at kroger && i had a coupon! i love being a smart shopper!

so i had to incorporate pears into my post somehow, right?

so i had to incorporate pears into my post somehow, right?

boy oh boy was this good! sweet and simple. YUM!

i spent the rest of my yesterday studying, ha what’s new!?

&& i was in the mood for some really relaxing yoga last night so i listen to some traditional yoga-ish music and was all about it! i set my intention to let go and feel positive in the now, it felt so good.

then it was desperate housewives & brother’s&sister’s time. obviously snack time too :)

delicious snack, breaking all the rules :)

delicious snack, breaking all the rules :)

yep this was totally breaking my rules (i realize my silliness in having these rules as i type this out, but whatevers)–almond butter out of the jar! yogurt in the container! jelly in the yogurt instead of some actual fruit! ah honey gram bears! it was so so yummy & satisfying :)

i tested out one of these bad boys too:

yum yum soo glad i bought this

yum yum soo glad i bought this

&& i totally believe i slept better last night since i drank this, haha its all in my head!

flash forward to today and i’m just hanging out in my room, contemplating whether i really need to go to stats in a little bit…i’m really leaning towards skipping :/ not a fan of my professor

as for tonight i am going to a formal dinner at one of the 19 sororities on campus. purely to have dinner with people and do some meaningless chatting…i will not be mentioning that i am transferring at semester, they may not like that.

then its group meeting time, exciting right? the 25 page report is due thursday and we have a lot of work ahead of us, so group time is going to be to the max. i really hope we can get it all done without any all nighters…

hmm i think that may be all i have for now. gracias por/para reading (got to love spanglish!)

now is this just me??

i live on my bed--its a: desk, couch, kitchen table, the list goes on

i live on my bed--its a: desk, couch, kitchen table, the list goes on

being in a dorm room there is not much space to go around, so it seems like i’m always on my bed! (feel free to ignore the tweety bird blanket)

hope everyone has a MARVELOUS MONDAY!!

*pet peeve alert: i understand that it is nice outside, i very much so appreciate it, but it does not mean it is warm enough to wear shortt shorts & a measly t-shirt….cough cough i’m talking to you roommate!